La Vita E Bella

It is that time of year. A time to reflect. Where you were and where you are now. It is the time of year to ask yourself, “do you like the person you’ve become”.

I think we can all agree that 2016 has been quite the year. From the whole Harambe debacle to electing a new president to the countless mannequin challenges and so on. It has been controversial and unforgettable.

I can honestly say that I am not the same person I was January 1, 2016 and I firmly believe this should always be the case. In a year you meet all sorts of new people, learn lessons, have new experiences, listen to new music, question your life, set new goals for yourself and possibly you lost it all. These all are things that shape us as people. What kind of life are you living if you are not in a constant state of change and growth?

Personally, I have experienced the highest highs I have ever felt but also the lowest lows. I spent the first half of my year in a nonstop adventurous frenzy while falling in love with someone else but also myself. Then I spent the second half of my year laid up in a bed feeling nauseas, losing my hair, trying to just get through each day.

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2016 has given me perspective. Things that once were important to me now take the back burner. Things I used to be afraid of no longer scare me. I’ve become a more honest person. Not in the sense that I used to be a pathological liar (because that is not the case) but in the sense that I do not leave things unsaid like I once did. If you really like something about someone- tell them. If your friend is headed down a slippery slope- tell them. It might be uncomfortable in the moment and that is ok. I have learned that sometimes you have to take care of yourself and let things go. The things that make life harder. These can take the shape of bad habits, relationships or even mindsets.

Back in July when I got my diagnosis I was devastated that I would have to put my goals on hold and prolong graduation. I still am trying to figure out how I pulled that one off. But I am happy to say I am now a graduate of Florida State University. It is something that I am most proud of. I still don’t think it has hit me.

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I have not had any sort of treatment since mid- November so I have had some time to recover and just enjoy life again. I feel like my normal self. I can just breathe. It has been a much needed break. Radiation starts for me next Thursday on January 5, 2017. I will have to go every weekday for a total of 18 treatments. It is bittersweet. On one hand, I am about to lose the progress I have made of the past month and a half and feel like hell again for a while. But on the other hand, this whole thing is going to be over soon and I can have my whole life back. I am ready for a new year, a fresh start. I am ready to leave all this mess behind and live a life to be proud of. A life to be in love with.

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There is so much to be thankful for. Life is beautiful.

 

 

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One thought on “La Vita E Bella

  1. Caitlyn you are such an amazing young lady! You are truly missed at Envision your big smile and of course answering all my questions. I learned long ago to live as you want not how others want you to. Cancer is just a stepping stone in your life it will make you a much stronger person in the long run. I keep you in my prayers daily keep kicking cancers butt!

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